Conflict Accompaniment
I have been working in conflict resolution and transformation since 1999. My early training was in peer mediation, which supports participants to engage their conflict while becoming more skilled at doing so. Later, I trained in various forms of peacemaking circles, victim/offender reconciliation, family-group conferencing, and non-violent communication. In significant part, my framework has been developed by learning with people who practice Restorative Circles, a systems-based practice developed by people in the favela of Santa Marta in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
All of the practices involve people in one of three roles:
- those who have acted
- those directly affected by the action
- members of the wider community in which the action occurred
The specific of the process we might use will depend on the context of the conflict, e.g. there may be a circumstance in which one or more of the relevant people will not or cannot participate. We would work together to find an arrangement that fits the situation such that everyone involved has dignity.
Mediation
I have been a professionally trained mediator for 16 years. However, I find that mediation can be troublesome for a few reasons. Mediation:
- often addresses one problem that is merely a symptom of a deeper dynamic of conflict between the participants, and so the conflicts are likely to recur without a more systemic intervention.
- usually does not seek to increase the conflict engagement skills of the participants, and so when conflicts recur, participants are likely to repeat unhealthy behaviors that feed the conflict.
- is an intervention that often occurs in a broader context which doesn’t support restorative/transformative justice, and therefore well-intentioned agreements falter once the mediation is over.
- can create a hierarchy in which participants look to the mediator as the arbiter of truth, and in which the mediator comes to believe that they know better than those involved what the “best” outcome is.
However, there are times when mediation may be the best alternative, and in those cases I’m glad to be part of a harm reduction approach by being a mediator who will seek to prioritize the best interests of all participants, with confidence in their co-responsibility.
